Talk about drama. This issue is so touchy and it should absolutely not be.
FELLAS – I don’t care if it isn’t 1964. I wouldn’t care if it was 3022. No matter what year it is, you should always be paying for the first three dates. No discussion. Now where some of you go wrong is you take these females to five star steakhouses on the first date and then complain that she is too high maintenance. Don’t set ya self up for failure because she is going to, as she should, expect that level of treatment from there on out. McDonalds isn’t acceptable but a decent mid-range restaurant is the way to go. And oh, if you are dating a chick like me – don’t assume because I may have mentioned staying in shape that I’m going to order the soup and salad. I like to eat. I like to eat a lot. So if you are thinking steak, I’m probably thinking lobster with a bite of your steak on the side. If you are digging this chick and after the first three dates with absolutely no question about you paying for the first three, homegirl should at least be offering to get the drinks or tip. If she doesn’t keep it gentlemen like, pay the bill. After that you have options. And just because you were buying, doesn’t mean she needs to be paying (don’t act like you don’t know what I mean). No meal is going to impress me into rewarding you with the goods.
LADIES – When the check comes, don’t get timid. Remain calm and let him reach for his wallet. Now, if he just looks at you and doesn’t pick up the bill– then reach for your purse and say it was real and then dip. Don’t ever consider talking to a dude who isn’t paying for the first date. But also please don’t walk around singing I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T if you aren’t open to the idea of paying for a night out with the guy you like after the first three dates. A real independent woman always comes prepared and offers. Some say a true gentleman should never accept the offer, but I think that depends on the level of your courtship. And don’t feed him that BS about your time being valuable because his is too. There is always another hungry female waiting for her opp and you might have just lost out because of your Vivica Fox having attitude.
Men paying for the first three dates is considered a basic to me that doesn’t go away with time. Here are some other basics that baby boys of the 80s seem to forget:
Open the door and let her walk thru first
Open the car door (If everything weren’t so high tech I’d remind ladies of the “Bronx Tale” rule on this one)
Let her order her food/drink first (This really really irritates me)
You walk on the outside of the curb (Go find a daddy and ask him if you don’t know what I’m talking about)
If she is driving and you stop for gas…you are expected to pump it (not pay it)
Don’t pull off before she gets in the house
If she is leaving your crib at a walk of shame hour – see her to her car
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